Monday, November 17, 2008
Inner thoughts
She stands across the room blending into the crowd. But if you knew her inner thoughts you'd know she's not one of them. The thoughts that run inside her mind, comparing herself to everyone else and never measuring up. "Your clothes aren't right, doesn't matter that there's no money to go shopping; you desperately need to get your hair done, just look at those roots! Am I saying the right things? Do people really like me or are they just putting up with me? Do I have anything interesting to add to the conversation or will I just sit here pretending to be a part of the group yet again? Am I doing a good job or am I messing up? If I mess up will it screw up everything? My last job I blew, how can I ever know again that I am qualified and trust that I'm good? If only I were more like ______, they always are so together and seem so happy. " It doesn't matter that those that truly love her tell her the opposite of all this every day; that voice can't be silenced. How beautiful it would be to never hear those thoughts rage through the mind again. What peace and self-fulfillment it would bring? But it will never be known because the voice always creeps back in and creates self-doubt. But one can imagine what it would be like.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I love you Alyson! So I'm not the only one with those thoughts. Here's a quote from a book that I try to remember when I feel the exact same way, which I do often...
"Be present as the watcher of your mind -- of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions in various situations. Be at least as interested in your reactions as in the situation or person that causes you to react. Notice also how often your attention is in the past or future. Don't judge or analyze what you observe. Watch the thought, feel the emotion, observe the reaction. Don't make a personal problem out of them. You will then feel something more powerful than any of those things that you observe: the still, observing presence itself behind the content of your mind, the silent watcher." -Ekhart Tolle
This is one of my favourite verses when I am feeling unworthy or worrying about something. Remember GOD has a plan for you and is using your weaknesses to make you stronger. Place your burden of worry on Him, and He will comfort you. I love you Aly! I'll keep you in my prayers.
-Adam Conkle
ROMANS 5:3-5
3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Post a Comment